Life Without Pants
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In the past 24 hours a question has been swirling around in my head, haunting me, begging to be answered. It’s a question I’ve been faced with many, many times before and it’s the question that has driven me to where I am today.
It’s a repeating pattern to be faced with this question the immediate days following a marathon. For months I prepare myself, mentally and physically, for the challenge of running 26.2 miles. I stay true to a training schedule. I watch what I eat. I count down the days. Then, the day finally arrives, and just a few short hours later, the medal hanging from my neck, it’s over . And time after time I’m left asking myself:
“What’s next?”
I’m deathly afraid of complacency . I’d argue that apathy is universally one of our biggest fears. Why? Because apathy is easy. Complacency is comfortable. Settling into a routine is safe.
For the past 4 years I’ve spent every single day of my life battling complacency. Pushing myself to learn, try, and do more. It’s led me to building a successful business for myself and my team. It’s led me to paying off all of my debt. It’s afforded my wife and I the ability to travel to new and exciting places. It’s led me to run four full and two half marathons in the past 12 months. And yet, here I am, once again asking, “What’s next?”
I’ve been asking myself this question about my business, too. More than three years of hard work and hustle has led me to where I am – where we are – today. No doubt I’m in an amazing place, but I can’t help but catch the whiff of complacency creeping in. I’m afraid of getting comfortable. I’m afraid I’m not paying enough attention to where I want to be because I’m so focused on where I am.
Seth Godin recently wrote the following :
“As we get more experienced, we get better, more competent, more able to do our thing. And it’s easy to fall in love with that competence, to appreciate it and protect it. The pitfall? We close ourselves off from possibility. Possibility, innovation, art–these are endeavors that not only bring the whiff of failure, they also require us to do something we’re not proven to be good at. After all, if we were so good at it that the outcome was assured, there’d be no sense of possibility. We often stop surprising ourselves (and the market) not because we’re no good anymore, but because we are good. So good that we avoid opportunities that bring possibility.”
I find myself in a position, today, of feeling extremely competent in what I do. But like a child who holds on to his favorite blanky, I find myself clinging to my competence and ignoring possibility. Because competence – and complacency – is safe – is known – is comfortable.
As I look and we look inward and attempt to answer, “What’s next?” in our own lives, it must start with one simple and very important question: “Why?”
Why does running a marathon matter? Why does building a business matter? Why does writing a book matter? Why do you do…whatever it is you do? Why does it matter to you?
But even more important than understanding your why is loving your why.
What we’re faced with, every single day, as Sarah Bray so aptly put recently, is the idea what nobody cares. That you work tirelessly to build something only to be met with half-hearted congratulations. We’re faced with indifference, even from the people closest to us.
When you marry someone, you expect them to be wildly excited about everything you do – but they won’t be. When you hire folks and build a company, you expect all of your colleagues to fall in love with every brilliant idea you present. They won’t. Expect your family to support every decision you make? Keep dreaming.
And to come full circle, this can and will lead you back to complacency and competence – doing what you know instead of doing what you love because you get the feeling that no one gives a damn.
To quote Seth Godin once more:
“The problem isn’t that it’s impossible to pick yourself. The problem is that it’s frightening to pick yourself. It’s far easier to put your future into someone else’s hands than it is to slog your way forward, owning the results as you go.”
You must create a lifestyle for yourself that you love. This idea, and this alone, is what will keep you motivated toward discovering what’s possible – for yourself. It’s also the key to surrounding yourself with the support and excitement of others.
Love is contagious. Love is the passion that drives you out of complacency – out of competence – and answers the question, “What’s next?”
Four years ago I quit my first job out of college and moved to Chicago with my wife. What I wrote the week leading up to what was, at the time, the boldest leap of faith I’d taken in my life, is the perfect summation to my thoughts today:
“I wish I had a noble conclusion – some eloquent parting words to sum it all up. But if there is one thing all of you can take away from this, one ‘moral’ to my story, it’s have faith in yourself. Believe in yourself and what you want to do. Only YOU can say what’s best for you. We all have passions that go unrealized because we’re afraid to leave our comfort zones. We’re afraid that we might fail. And you know, you very well might. I’m stepping outside the box and making myself vulnerable. Odds are, it won’t all go according to plan – but I have faith, and that faith is supported because I know I’m giving it my all.”
At the end of the day, is there anything truly more important than trying? Is there anything more important than simply giving it your all?
What’s next?
(Photo credit)
04/30/2013
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“Whew”, I let out emphatically. Sometimes words just don’t do a moment justice. Sometimes, a good old-fashioned, “Whew” perfectly and beautifully says it all.
I wish I could hold onto this moment. I wish I could bottle it and have a sip of its sweet, sweet nectar anytime I’m feeling doubtful. Anytime I’m questioning or second guessing myself. Anytime I find myself asking, “is this worth it?” This moment, this energy, proves that it always was, and always is.
I look around and I get a sense that I’m not the only one with these thoughts. I see couples hugging each other, congratulating each other on surviving the long journey. I see parents hugging children, complete strangers shaking hands, smiles – albeit it slightly nervous ones. I see many with no friends or family – just themselves and their thoughts. They’re likely thinking, “I finally made it”.
Through moments of pain, struggle, and self-doubt, in taking bold leaps and tallying personal triumphs, we, collectively, have found ourselves at the end of the road, which ironically is only the beginning.
Another “Whew”. A deep breath. I think back to all of the challenges I’ve faced and overcome. Time and time again I’ve felt what I feel right now. That feeling of overwhelming relief and those nervous butterflies that are there to remind me that I’m doing something right. That I’m doing something that matters.
I’ve learned not to fight the butterflies. That the jitters, as some call it, only make an appearance when I’m onto something big. When I’m taking a chance. Taking a risk. Walking into the unknown. Figuring things out. Going against the grain. Daring to be bold.
I used to fight them. I used to let the butterflies – the jitters – the fear – consume me. But experience has taught me not to fight this feeling, but rather, embrace it.
I never feel this way when I know exactly what I’m doing. No, I feel this way when I don’t have a fucking clue.
It’s difficult to describe, but when the feeling I’m feeling right now hits you, it’s undeniable. So much of life is spent without it. You wake up, go to work, live the life you think you want to live – the one you’re supposed to – the one that’s comfortable.
But every once in a while, the butterflies begin to flutter. Your heart races and palms sweat. You guess and second guess if it’s worth it. You consider throwing the idea away because you’re afraid it won’t be perfect.
Then you realize the most perfect things in life are never perfect. The journey of arriving at a moment like this – a moment that matters, wasn’t anywhere near perfect. It was hard. It was ugly. At times it felt downright impossible. And that’s the beauty of it.
I look around again and I see the faces of so many changing from nervousness to excited anticipation. I’m ready. We’re ready.
Whew. 26.2 miles in front of me – here I am, here we are, at the starting line of a marathon.
Ironically, I’ve found myself at the end – which also happens to be the beginning.
In the next few hours, in the days, months, even years ahead, I’ll question and doubt myself time and time again. I’ll wonder if it’s worth it. I’ll choose comfort over challenge. I’ll come up with excuses.
Then the starting gun will sound, and I’ll remember this moment. I’ll remember the jitters. I’ll remember that when the after matters, the before is always worth it.
The jitters will return and, with confidence, I’ll take the first step.
I’m running my fourth full marathon this weekend. I’ll run for my grandfather who passed away the evening before my last marathon. I’ll run for Boston, and all the lives so dramatically changed. I’ll run for myself, and remember to never let my own self-doubt keep me from doing what matters. Wish me luck!
04/25/2013
Monday, April 15, 2013 started as an absolutely perfect day in Boston. But as Boston Globe columnist Kevin Cullen wrote last week , “In an instant, a perfect day had morphed into something viscerally evil.”
Last Monday – my life, our lives, were forever changed. Bombs went off at the Boston Marathon and ever since, I’ve carried with me a fear and awareness that previously never crossed my mind. I hear a loud bang and assume the worst. I see a bag lying on the ground and can’t help but wonder why it’s there.
Unimaginable events like last Monday’s will have that effect. But in time, it too shall pass. Just like the fear we all felt after 9/11, Columbine, or Virginia Tech. For those of us not directly effected – those of us on the outside looking in – life moves on and while we’ll never forget, a sense of normalcy will return.
I don’t know about you, but I find myself distracted this morning. My mind wandering and wondering if it’s okay to get back to normal. Battling the inner demons that want me to question humanity and think the worst about our country.
Truth be told, this is a punch in our collective gut. But now is a time that demands endurance more than ever. We take this punch, we stagger, we feel pain – we feel helpless – we feel anger, but we get back up.
I’m a marathon runner, and if there’s any irony in all of this, it’s that the attacked occurred during a marathon. Marathon-runners live and breathe endurance. And what we need right now is to endure.
Today, despite the bombs, despite my fear, and despite my anger, I will run . This weekend I will run my fourth marathon. I’ll be a little more cautious and a little more aware, but I will endure. We will endure.
Today, as we return to our regularly schedule program – our regularly schedule lives, let us honor the fallen and celebrate the heroism of so many.
In our moments of great darkness, what we’ve seen in the past week is that these moments bring about our greatest strengths. They pull us together and they certainly put our lives into perspective. But in our moments of greatest darkness, we discover the collective enduring light that exists within us all. The drive to come together. The drive to do good. The drive to love. The drive to endure.
As Patton Oswalt of all people so aptly put,
“When you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”
04/21/2013
Pac Man undoubtedly exists at the summit of classic arcade glory. So when Tyler Neylon was challenged to develop it in one day , it would seem to be absolutely crazy, right?
Challenge accepted.
“My own challenge began when I made a remark about how easy it is today to build the old-school games like Pac-Man. Less than a day, easy, I said. My wife, being skeptical, and I, loving a code crunch, turned this into an official double-dog-dare. I had to do it.”
Tyler got to work, and along the way, discovered quite a few “easter eggs” behind the scenes of the beloved game we all spent entirely too many quarters on during our youth.
PacPac is the outcome of this one day project. 100% open-source. With three mazes, it’s already thrice as many as the original…and still growing. As much as today’s post is about creating, it’s even more about giving way to others discovering their passion to create :
“The best outcome I can imagine for PacPac is to open the eyes of a player peeking behind the curtains for the first time and stepping toward their own potential as a creator.”
The best thing we can do as developers – as makers – as creators, is to share our gifts, our passions, with others. To do our part in accepting the challenge of creating a community that dares to be inspired and isn’t afraid to dream big.
“Maybe you’re one of the inspired ones. The ones who love to learn, to dream, and to build. Just in case it’s you out there, dreaming up virtual worlds — don’t forget a few good easter eggs.”
Inspired by: A Game When Games Were New
04/17/2013
In a recent Inc article, Phil Libin, CEO of Evernote, gave what is probably the best solution to any leader who’s struggling with what is one of the most common problems amongst leaders: Feeling the need to micromanage.
“I made a new rule: Everyone who reports to me has to be much better at doing his or her job than I could ever be.”
My biggest challenge as a business-owner has been letting go of control . Which is funny because being controlled was what I loathed so much about my 9-5 agency job coming out of college. Being told what to do and how to do it by someone else, leaving no room for creativity or suggestion, was the single-biggest motivating factor in my pursuit of starting my own company.
But now that I’m in a position of leadership, I get why it’s such a common struggle. It’s because we all started out being in complete control. For me, I started with running my own one-stop-shop for web design and development. I had my way of doing things and I knew how to be effective on my own.
I started Proof out of the need – and the desire – to build something that was not only sustainable, but scalable. And over the past couple years, I’ve embraced the value and importance of allowing the people around you to do what they do best – and understand that this is one of the keys to successful, long-term growth.
I’ve come to learn that the only way to scale is to let go of the reins and and that the best quality work happens when everyone on your team feels empowered by and in control of the work they do.
Hiring someone to do a job that you can do better will only lead you to either 1) micromanaging and dictating or 2) going insane from taking on too much because you constantly tell yourself that you can do it better.
Phil Libin says his philosophy of hiring people smarter than him in essence makes him the dumbest person at Evernote. Sounds crazy, but maybe in this case, it pays to be dumb.
04/16/2013
BIG thanks to @jasonfried for including @proofbranding in REMOTE. You are a continued inspiration, sir. Cheers! About 8 hours ago
BIG thanks to @jasonfried for including @proofbranding in REMOTE. You are a continued inspiration, sir. Cheers!
About 8 hours ago
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